Jiu Jitsu Tank Tops Funny Tank Tops
"So this happened a few semesters ago. I am a big history buff, always have been. Part of this history class was a group project where we had to pick a year of American history sometime during the 1800s and do a presentation on all the major events of that year.
I was known in the class for being a history buff and I partially feel this led to the group dynamics that we had.
I feel like my group members basically thought 'Oh we got sondontplay, he's going ace this for us.'
Well the project started, and the group became nonresponsive. All 3 of them. We had a discussion board we were supposed to talk in, but none of them responded, we had emails, none of them responded, we had a chat group none of them responded. After numerous attempts, I went to my professor and complained.
My professor said he'd send out a notice to all the students that they need to participate in the group project to get credit.
So rinse and repeat I tried again, and this time two people responded! One was Ashley, she made a half-butted attempt at setting up a time to figure out what year we were going to cover, and another was Scott, he needed his bachelor's to get promoted and this was literally his last semester.
Ashley ignored the time we set aside, Scott basically said "Hey I'm super busy, this seems pretty easy I think, if you lead the charge" to which I said "Fine, let's do XYZ year and can you find me some academic sources to use in the project?" Scott responded that he was busy but he'll try.
I went to the professor again and said he'd speak to each student individually.
I don't know if he did, or not, but the end result was the same. Finally, I went to my professor again and he said, "Do the project, anyone that helps from your group put their names on the project, and I'll grade accordingly"
So over the course of two weekends, I knocked out the project myself, it was a pretty fun project and I enjoyed doing it so it wasn't all that bad.
When I finished a rough draft of the project I thought I'd throw out…one more lifeline.
I emailed the group project to my group and I BCC'ed my professor.
In the email, I said 'I completed the project, I need someone to clean up the citations, I need another person to do the graphics, and I need another person to proofread the project, please let me know who can do what.'
Two people responded.
One was another member of the group let's call him Tom who said 'I think the graphics look fine' (Hint, there were no graphics, which means he never opened the file).
Another was Scott who said he'd clean up the citations.
None of them did anything and I figured they wouldn't. Now this class was broken down into 6 potential grading components
Discussions: 10%
Quizzes: 15%
Mid Term Paper 15%
Mid Term Test 15%
Final Test 15%
Final Project 30%
Therefore it was nearly impossible to pass the class without doing the final project.
So I completed the project. I actually submitted it a week before the deadline. 2 days before the project was due all 3 of my group members reached out to me asking me if I had submitted the project. I said I had, it was a good project, and I'm sure it'd be graded well. They were all very happy to hear that.
Professor graded the project and gave me a 95% on it, which I was quite happy with.
The professor also wanted to clarify what contribution did I get from the rest of the classmates. My response? None, none of them helped.
I decided to inform the group of my good grade, they were all so happy many so confident they were guaranteed to pass the class…
Well, everyone else on my group project got a 0, because they didn't help.
All 3 of my group members were REALLY TICKED OFF.
Especially Scott because Scott needed to pass this class to get promoted at work (he needed a bachelor's degree and this was one of the last credits he needed)
I remember the call between Scott and I 'You didn't put my name on the project?'
I responded 'No, I sure didn't.'
'Why not!' he demanded.
'Because you didn't help, at all.'
In his defense he fired back 'but I was busy with work' to which I fired back 'We all have lives, I also have a job, a wife, and a baby, I don't need your excuses' and to which he advised me that since he failed the class, he wasn't getting promoted at work, and the promotion was really important to him.
To which I said, 'If the promotion was important to you, you should have helped with the project, but apparently that promotion wasn't as important as you claim.'
Ashley and Tom were both upset, but less so. Maybe they learned a lesson from it? After isn't that what college is about? Learning."
10. I Need To Keep The Desk Tidy? I'm Taking That Personally
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'This happened nearly 5 years ago when I had first become a concierge at a high-rise condominium. I originally worked in the management office helping pick up the slack since the office was and still is overworked and understaffed. This is par for the course as the entire building is understaffed, including, of course, the concierge position. At the time, it was only the weekend shift that needed to be filled and I was given a pay raise to fill the Sunday morning (7am-3:30pm) time.
The shifts are pretty simple, morning, afternoon, and night shift with simple work to answer phones, coordinate valets to valet cars, and other simple tasks. I have it incredibly easy because Sunday is pretty much dead especially since the majority of the residents are retired.
Two things I was very good about were my logs which were very clear and concise and the cleanliness of the desk.
However, not too long after I started working as a concierge Terry, the weekday morning shift concierge whom I would relieve for his lunch break, began to feel threatened by me as I could easily keep on top of residents, guests, contractors, packages, and cars without much issue. It was one day I was working during the week that Terry had commented when he came in on Monday that the desk was a mess.
Mind you I worked the morning shift on Sunday, I had no control, nor was/am I responsible for the concierges before or after me. Still, I was irritated that he commented on the desk being a mess like it was my fault. So, when the next Sunday rolled around I went ahead and did my usual tidying up, but I extended it to cleaning out and organizing the drawers, throwing out old trash and the like, and I found a gold mine.
I hadn't realized it immediately, but I found a giant stash of business cards from lord knows how many people. I knew Terry was the one who had collected them all, but he was the one who had said I needed to keep the desk tidy so I did what any one seeking petty revenge would do and threw away nearly 400 business cards.
Was it petty? Oh yeah.
Did I have a massive grin? You know it
Did it get even bigger when he asked about them the next day? You bet your behind it did."
9. This One Private Was A Jerk, So My Dad Helped Get Revenge
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"One of the camps my dad went to, they had a sergeant there, harder than nails. Everyone under his command was the best at what they did and all super fit. Also, no-one messed around with Sergeant or anyone under his command.
Other lower ranked soldiers and CO's were so scared of Sarge mainly because one day Sarge found out his own nephew was stealing from other soldiers.
Sarge drilled his own nephew non-stop.
Sarge got demoted and worked his way back to Sergeant. That's where my dad comes in.
There was one private who got made troop leader for a bit (who my dad described as a first-class jerk in training, that also made screw-ups in training that seemed to be done on purpose). Every time the first-class jerk in training made a screwup, Sarge made him watch while everyone else did PT.
One day, everyone has had enough. First-class jerk in training had a separate bed near the front of the sleeping quarters. So carefully and as quietly as possible, 2 cupboards were pushed closer together and first-class jerk in training, has his bed lifted onto the top of the cupboards.
Bright and early the next morning Sarge is in there sounding the call. First-class jerk in training nearly knocked himself out he hit the floor so hard. Sarge sees it as his duty to start giving first-class jerk in training a serious dressing down right there, because (i) why is he playing games sleeping on top of the cupboards or (ii) why wasn't he aware enough that someone had put him on top of the cupboards?
That's when Sarge chose someone else for the new leader and no more problems."
8. I Stopped My Neighbor's Loud Parties And They Ended Up Moving
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"Our neighbors had very, very loud parties frequently that would go until 3:00am or 4am even on weeknights. When I walked by his house to check my mail, he would mutter insults to himself about me and my kids. I tried to talk to him through his adult son because my Spanish isn't that great and his English was no better. I didn't feel good about calling the cops on him because he is a minority and his English is poor.
Nothing worked, other neighbors did call the cops on him and his family and it didn't work anyway. Finally, I had completely had it and ordered this stuff called liquid butt. A couple of squirts were supposed to be effective but I didn't know how well it would really work from the other side of our shared wooden fence.
The next party was on a Tuesday night and it was around midnight there was super loud music and tons of people dancing and drinking as usual.
I went outside and poured the entire 4-ounce bottle on my side of the fence along the fence line then quickly ran back inside. Within 20 minutes the music was off and the guests were chattering trying figure out what was wrong. The guests left to my delight and everyone in my house finally got some sleep. The following day there was a huge sewage repair company truck outside their house most of the day. A month later a for sale a appeared for one day and it was sold to a very quiet lady who said 'I hope my wind chimes aren't too loud for you.'
I do not miss them at all."
7. Don't Like Any Of The Photos I Take? Fine, I Won't Take Any At All
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"My ex and I aren't together for many major reasons, but there is one silly thing I'll never forget.
When we were seeing each other, my ex complained that her exes never took candid shots of her. Fair enough. I'm not a fan of posed photos myself and I wanted to practice taking photos. So I get to practice with my favorite subject who is willing. Great, right?
Umm, nope.
Turns out the ex needs to approve every single shot I take. One time, I took a shot of her sitting in the balcony. Nothing fancy, just a casual shot. She grabbed the cam, deleted the photo, and told me I was forbidden to keep any photos she disliked even if I never showed them to any one.
So what am I supposed to do then? According to ex, I was supposed to take hundreds of shots so that she could approve maybe 10% of them if that.
What about shots that I like even if she dislikes them? Nope, must be deleted too.
Btw, this all happened way back before smartphones and social media were a thing. I was digging out my pocket cam for this. FB existed but hadn't taken over our lives like it has now and Instagram was still in the future. So it's not like I was blasting these shots all over social media.
But no, ex must approve every shot.
I just never took any photos after that. That in itself wouldn't qualify as petty revenge, but we went on a trip to a really nice place sometime later and I still inwardly grin that there isn't a single photo of her in that place, especially after she spent so much time digging out her nice dresses and whatnot for the trip."
6. Mess Up My Room? I'll Mess Up Your Oreos
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"My 6-year-old brother is a pain in the butt to deal with. He is annoying, loud, and noisy. I mean, it's normal for a 6-year-old to be loud but it just sometimes annoys me, however, this pushed me over the edge.
I told my 6-year-old brother to stay out of my room kindly and politely for privacy reasons. But he didn't listen and when I entered my room to get my phone charger since my phone was dying my brother was in my room, sitting on my bed and my room is a total mess.
I was about to scream at him but then I got an idea.
Oreos are my brother's favorite snack so I grabbed 2 for me and 2 for him. I removed the cream filling for my brother's Oreos and replaced it with mayo and my brother thinks mayo tastes like 'poo-poo' so this is perfect!
I went in my MESSY room and gave the 'Oreos' to my brother and ate the reals ones.
He took one bite and spat the 'Oreo' on my wall. I pretended to act shocked.
Here's how it went.
Brother: (spits the mayo Oreo on the wall).
Me: 'What the what! Why the fudge did you spit on my wall!'
Brother: 'It tastes like poo-poo!'
Me: (trying not to laugh, while eating the real Oreos) 'What are you talking about, bro?'
Brother: 'What is wrong with the cookies! Is it poisoned with poo?'
Me: (bursts out laughing)
Brother: 'Why are you laughing?'
Me: 'It's mayo Oreos!'
Brother: 'GRRR!' (screams and walks out)
I ended up cleaning my room and wiping the Oreo off of the walls. It was dead funny to see my brother get owned!"
5. Having An Affair? I'll Steal Your Partner
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"Alright ladies and gents, last night over a few microbrews wrapped in a blanket under the stars, my wife was egged on to tell a story from her teenage years; boy was I not ready.
This story is roughly 12 years ago and at the time my wife had been seeing her then first husband for a little over two years and they had lived together for around 3 months.
He was not working, going to college part-time for an art degree and playing the occasional weekend gig with his 'bigtime' band. Whilst this utter douche wagon (DW) was living the high life with the boys my wife, Sarah from here forward was working two jobs and going to college full time for education/psychology, paying all of their bills and even owning the only car between the two of them – a beautiful 1994 Nissan 300zx 5 speed.
After months of hounding her to use her car to get around while she was at work, of course, she folded letting him use the car, I list the make/model/transmission for this reason. Within the first week, she had to pay to have a new clutch put in the car as DW swore he could drive a manual and clearly could not. The very day she got the car from the shop DW rear-ended someone claiming it wasn't his fault.
About two weeks pass and now being out over 2 grand in repairs between the two events, the wife gets the car back AGAIN and bans him from driving the car, leaves for work and thinks nothing of this. Returning home later that night she finds DW is not home, however he has forgotten his cell phone. Well fate would have it that DW's phone would ring before he came home and Sarah would answer.
Sarah answered the phone to the voice of another young woman's voice on the other end and a contact reading "pizza hut."
The voice on the other end of the phone asks 'Hey who is this, are you in the house? Where is DW's phone?'
That's right ladies and gents, DW was with our young maiden (Morgan) and thought he lost his phone during the small house party.
Sarah explains that she is DW's fiancé and his phone must have been forgotten at home. Morgan softly said 'Fiancé? Oh for goodness sake' before a short pause before saying 'Take my number from DW's phone and text me please.'
You see DW had been somewhere else in the house looking for his phone and Morgan decided to act as if there was no answer and just shrug it off for the time being.
Sarah texted Morgan from her own phone and the two started texting explaining their roles in DW's life. Turns out DW's apartment before they moved in together was Morgan's house and Morgan was not the ever elusive roommate but his WIFE.
This house party happened to be just a few blocks from Sarah and DW's apartment so Morgan asked if she could come over, after a brief hesitation, Sarah said sure why not.
Morgan told DW she wasn't feeling well and was going to go home, asking if DW could get a ride home (to S/DW's house) on his own. He affirmed this wouldn't be an issue and Morgan left.
Sarah and Morgan meet and immediately realize that they look like they could be sisters, practically twins. Morgan also realized that DW had called Morgan by Sarah's name a couple of times over the last year.
You see when DW started seeing Sarah they had broken up for about 2 months but never stopped talking, hooking up or anything of the like. DW however immediately started a new relationship and claimed Sarah's apartment was his own.
DW comes home and seems a bit cranky but nothing out of the norm, you see Morgan had taken a position in the walk-in closet within the bedroom and Sarah was immediately DW's target for getting 'some' this evening as his original plans had fallen through.
Sarah decided to play along, getting DW to the bedroom with a bit of teasing and cringing through kissing him.
S is sitting on top of DW on the bed and things are starting to get heated in DW's mind. Morgan slowly slinks out of the closet and slowly climbs up the bed from the bottom until she is leering over Sarah's shoulder. Sarah sits up and DW opens his eyes to the biggest surprise of his life.
Morgan immediately says 'Hey, ever dream of this moment?' as both girls start to giggle. DW immediately gets extremely excited, not even realizing the goose is cooked and served on the dining room table.
Sarah says 'Okay, you can get the heck out of my house now.' DW is completely confused and asks what's going on. Morgan chirps in saying 'How dense are you? It's over' as Sarah cuts in saying 'with both of us.' To major protests both Sarah and Morgan continue to cuddle as DW collects what little things he can carry as he is repeatedly ordered out of the house.
As DW left the house, Sarah was laying on the bed with Morgan and Sarah yelled 'NOW!' Sarah never spoke with DW again after this as she made him send his sister to collect the rest of his things later that week. Morgan obviously had to go through a divorce but outside of a court never said another word to DW. Wonder how DW is doing these days.
Morgan was the one who had Sarah tell me this story around the fire last night, also filling me in that the last time they kissed was in front of DW and Morgan immediately put her shirt back on after DW had left the apartment. Their friendship was born on this day. When Sarah and I started seeing each other she had to change her relationship status from in a relationship with Morgan to me. Poor DW has probably told the story of the three-way he almost had hundreds of times now.
Morgan gathered that DW had to move back into his parent's home, however, the only space they had available for him was a shed in the backyard which he still lives in, to this day."
4. My Sister Lied About My Crush, So I Got My Petty Revenge
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'In 2nd grade, a boy named Adrian was in my class and he went to the hospital for falling off the monkey bars. The day after, we were assigned to write him get well letters at home, and bring them in the next day so our teacher could get them there. I wrote my letter in horrible elementary student handwriting and left it on my desk.
Sister sees it as I'm sleeping and thinks it'd be funny to erase my writing and replicate my handwriting saying I liked him. Sister was in 4th grade at the same school and saw it all go down when he got back and asked me about it. I denied but it didn't really work.
So I decided that revenge was necessary, as elementary schoolers have no souls and teased me all the time for apparently being gay (they were right though).
I came up with a mighty plan to end her social career for the next two years.
I got some paper and made little posters. Ten or so, enough to fill the campus and let everyone see it. All of them had "Free Significant Other" and my sister's number on them. So she would get calls all day from thirsty elementary school boys and even their older brothers who came to pick them up from school.
I thought of putting her name but I figured it'd be better if she were confused as to why she got these calls. In my school, we had blocks for each grade, so I kept them away from hers and the cafeteria/playground so she would have no idea. Ha."
3. Sit And Read While I Do The Work? Say Bye To Your Stash
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"So it was once upon a time ten years ago. I worked for a major donation thrift store chain, and in that chain, my store was the busiest in the entire nation. We were rammed every day with donations. It was common to come to the store and have the donation dock be blocked off with piles of people's stuff that sometimes went 7 or 8 feet high.
This job was a nightmare, and it was only 3 of us actually working there. The regional headquarters would send extra employees when they could, but this was just in general super hit and miss.
My coworkers were an absolute nightmare. One of them had some kind of work coach who would show up for an hour every couple of weeks to watch the guy work, give him the all-clear, and then after they left, the dude would off.
I would go entire shifts without seeing him besides at clock in and out. I complained about him endlessly, but I guess he was the store's accessibility hire and couldn't be fired easily. I had to let this one go.
The other guy was somehow worse. He would show up about midway in my shift, help out for a hour until he found a good book to read or something, then just sit there and read, only moving to grab donations and build himself this comfy space to slack off in.
One day he called in sick right before we both had days off.
I was feeling particularly annoyed because this man called in at least 1-2x per week. I saw an opportunity though.
So, for some detail on how devastating this is, allow me to walk you through this sitting space. We had a very typical loading dock set up with a couple of desks and some shelves.
Over the course of a couple of weeks, he moved all the shelves around his chosen desk. He would load them up with fake plants and all kinds of décor. It was to the point that it actively took space we needed. He had a whole shelf of books to read, he took stuff home constantly, he was essentially stealing hundreds of dollars of donations a week.
At one point we even got some iPods in and he took those and set his own music up in the area.
I took all the crap out of his space and loaded it on the donation trucks. Nobody cared or checked on things so nobody actually noticed for the next 3 days until my coworker came back.
Keeping a straight face as he lost his temper at the situation was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Because we had so many temp workers coming through, especially on days neither of us worked, it was super easy to shrug the blame off. He literally never suspected me.
I did this to him at least twice more before quitting to a somehow worse landscaping job with a boss who was legitimately a psycho."
2. Ex Friend Screwed Me Over, So I Spoiled Her Favorite Shows
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"Just like the title. I was friends with this girl for a few months. During that time, she trashed my house, stole an important shirt signed by my favorite band, ruined my Uber score after I forcefully pulled her out of her car after she tried to drive intoxicated and ditch me alone at a bar, broke my friend's disco ball, and 'forgot' to take care of my mother's sick cat while she was out of town.
I knew she had some problems with anxiety, so I tried to be lenient and give her a couple of months to be a better person, until she blocked me on everything and moved to a new house instead of giving me anything back. There was no way I could contact her, and by that point, the statute of limitations for theft had run out. However, she and I had a mutual friend who witnessed some of the madness.
During our friendship, this girl and I bonded over our mutual love of Game of Thrones and Grey's Anatomy. She wasn't up to date on either show (especially Grey's considering the show is 18 seasons long.) So I enlisted the help of our mutual friend to send her a list of every major character death, and how it happens, as well as every major event, and how those storylines end as well. I'm currently waiting for results on how that all ends up.
I shouldn't have been so lenient at the beginning of all this, but at least I can be a bit of a menace now."
1. My Friend Ghosted Me, So I Drove Past Him
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"Six months ago, one of my good friends ghosted me. I'm not sure why, but suddenly my messages weren't getting replied to, and I didn't see him at Christmas. I was upset, but I had a few home-life problems and tough circumstances all at once, and I didn't have the mental capacity to start chasing after someone. Anyway…
Today was the first time I'd even spotted my friend.
He was at the bus stop outside his house, waiting for a bus. A bus that I knew was going to be at least twenty minutes away. I'd been in front of it way back along the road, and it had got stuck at some traffic lights, plus there was a huge queue of traffic. And I could tell, by his body language, that he was late for work, and getting to panicking.
One of the circumstances I'd been dealing with was taking my driving test. And I'd passed, despite my nerves and being a 'mature' learner… and bought myself a little car. A little car that I was currently driving past his house, and him, and was about to drive past his place of work. Which is about a five minutes walk away from my place of work.
A good person would have stopped and offered him a lift.
I was not a good person.
I coasted past, singing along to my current favorite musical, and got to work in time to make myself a cup of coffee and some toast.
I wonder how late he was…?"
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